All to God's glory is this blog dedicated to.
I am human.
I make Mistakes.
I am hypocritical.
I am loved.
As I delve deeper in love with my creator, I am
challenged to live radically. My life begins with Christ's love and will end
with it, so I start my writing in the same manner. In love He bases everything,
and so may He convict me to do the same. I am just one person, but for the sake
of others and the Lord I love, I can only hope to be used for His glory.
If you know me, you know that I have always
promised myself that if I ever start living metronomly safe and uninspired that
I would do whatever it took to make radical changes. For Jesus says,
"I came that they may
have life and have it abundantly."
It's an invitation. A choice.
A choice to either live life as:
a long preparation for something that never
happens///a gift to be USED.
safely///radically.
fists clenched///hands
open.
sane///crazy.
as if we are going to live forever///as if each day is the last.
I choose the latter.
Because in reality, it just might be.
Let us begin.
I have come to realize that more than
anything I don't want to live the American Dream. I want to live my life
AWAKE! In my hunt to find the original meaning of the "American
Dream" I also discovered its adaptations through the centuries. While it
had started in the Declaration of Independence with good and freeing
intentions to give Americans (despite race or social standing) an
equal opportunity in "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of
Happiness," it slowly adapted into a self-improving snowball
of continual dissatisfaction. As the Governor of Virginia noted in 1774,
the Americans "forever imagine the lands further off are still better than
those upon which they are already settled." And that, "if they
attained Paradise, they would move on if they heard of a better place farther
west."
In 1931 Historian James Truslow Adams
popularized the phrase "American Dream" in his book Epic of
America stating:
"…the American dream,
that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for
every man, with opportunity for each according to his ability or
achievement."
Equal opportunity, spiritual freedom, and a
not-so-bad democracy system aren't the issue with the dream. But
underlying it all, there is a subtle problem. The problem is that it is all
about SELF.
Self-improvement
Self-growth
Self-discipline to obtain Self-achievements.
When we live for the SELF, There is no room for dependency
on God, therefore we will always come up short, and when we do, it completely
Self-devastates us.
Why do we continually push ourselves
to want more? From our career to our consumerism, its easy to point the blame
to media and marketing, but the media can only get as far into our hearts as WE
let it. And I am done letting the world tell me what I need. Because
everything it has thrown at me is temporary filler until I realize that there
is something newer and better to need.
I refuse to be a part of it.
I choose instead to see how much MORE I can do with
LESS.
I choose to be satisfied with what I have and to
choose to be satisfied with even less than that.
I choose to LET GO OF MY LIFE to LET GOD do His
will in me.
For only He knows my true needs. So I will choose
to trust that He will take care of those needs for me.
JUMPING IN:
When I was in Belize for my 3 month
Discipleship Training School through Youth With A Mission (YWAM) I struggled
with choosing to see God in complete control of my life. I clung tight to the
good things I had worked for and I was terrified that if I fully submitted
myself to God's plan for my life and asked Him if the things that I loved were
a part of his will, that he would immediately take them away from me. Every
part of me told me that I had "earned" them on my own and somehow had
the unalienable right to keep making my own decisions-- mostly concerning my
boyfriend at the time (who later became my husband).
Through my experience at school, God
broke me down to see the beautiful mess I really was and helped me surgically
remove the sins that ensnared my freedom in Christ. I had heard of
others breaking off their relationships back home, and I couldn't
even let my mind open to even ask God if my relationship and intentions
with Stephen were according to His good and perfect will for my life. As a result
I gave portions to God that were undemanding of risk or change to satisfy the
pull of trust I felt from Him, but in the pit of my heart I began fortifying
the little space where I held everything I truly valued.
On the last day I visited "our
dock". My own hurricane stripped disgrace of a dock not far from the base
that jutted out into the ocean just around a slight bend in the beach where it
enabled me to feel alone with God. Almost every day at 5:10 am I would meet
with God to pray aloud, listen, and watch the sun rise (which you haven't
seen a true sunrise until you've seen it crest above the Caribbean). On that
last visit I finally chose to let God completely destroy the walls around my
desires, and instead of feeling fear, I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom
and peace. I cried knowing that God was in complete control to give me what I
need and take what I didn't. Even though God was already in control, it was
still up to me to decide to see it that way. I am so glad that God IS in
control, for He can make decisions based on the ENTIRE picture when we can only
make decisions based on the minuscule amount we can see. It was an amazing
revelation.
I looked at my watch and saw that it
was time to start heading back, but just when I was about to get up, something
strange happened. I suddenly felt like God was asking me to jump into the
water. It was clear. It was definite. It was extremely weird. It was my test.
And you know what I did? I walked away. I WALKED AWAY!
I thought about not having enough
time to change before class started.
I thought about what people might
think.
I thought about how silly it was, and
how it MUST have just come from me.
But I tell you what, the entire walk back to the
base, I have never felt such immediate regret. I thought about what I had just
experienced and how maybe that was the Holy Spirit asking me to cement my
spiritual revelation to a physical act. Possibly symbolize a new baptism
to living in God's control. And I had just walked away. Like many other crazy
things God had asked me to do that I didn't act upon, I minimized,
rationalized, and justified my unwillingness and pressed it into
the hidden corners of my heart. But every now and again, God would remind
me of our dock and guilt would overwhelm me.
About six months ago God took my now
husband and I on an adventure back to Central America, and we made a point of
visiting the YWAM base in Belize. I knew among other reasons for visiting the
base, I was being given another chance to respond to my call from almost 2
years before. We stayed one night at the base, and that morning, before the sun
rose, I snuck out of our cabana to tend to my unfinished business. Walking
down the beach in the darkness of night I was overwhelmed with memories and
expectant for God to show up. As I reached our dock I could see that the last 2
years had not treated it so well. With hardly enough planks to even call it a
dock, I practically leapt from one rotten board to the next before situating
myself at the end to wait for the sun to rise. Feeling foolish, I
subconsciously told God that as soon as the sun peeked over the horizon that I
would plunge in. I prayed while I waited and felt God remind me of a verse I
had memorized in Romans 12.
Paul wrote:
"So
here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary
life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and
place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best
thing you can do for him. Don't become so well adjusted to your culture
that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God.
You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from
you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging
you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops
well-formed maturity in you."
As another version puts it:
"And so, dear brothers
and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has
done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind he will find
acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Do not conform to the
pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then
you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and
perfect will."
Feeling adequately inspired and
ready to go "all-in" I expectantly waited for the sun to show up, but
I began to worry. Online I had read that the sun was supposed to have come up
over 5 minutes ago. It was really cloudy and judging on how light the sky was
getting, I had a sinking feeling that the sun had already rose and was hiding
behind the clouds. I felt stupid for "throwing out my fleece" and
testing God for a revelation of His love for me that morning. I realized I had
the choice to follow through with what he said, on my own, without Him coming
through first, and with a bursting heart I leapt off the dock, fully clothed, into the water.
And then God came through.
As I clambered out of the ocean and
back onto my plank, the most explosive fiery ray of light burst from the
East. In tears I watched as the most beautiful sunrise I had ever experienced
unfolded over our little dock. I was completely satisfied in that first shimmer
of orange, but God wasn't done yet. Because that is how God is. He lavishes His
love upon us and just when we are filled He tells us He isn't quite finished
yet, and continues to outpour his love until it completely smothers any trace
of shame and disbelief. And there was MY sunrise. The Fiery orange led
into bursting red and magenta with glory rays slicing through the clouds (yeah, the scientific name for sundays is LITERALLY "glory"). And
if that wasn't enough, ten minutes in, the entire Western sky behind me seemed
to echo His glory in hot pink-fringed cotton candy clouds. I was miserably in
awe. I was soaking wet with a huge grin on my face. God came through, at
just the right time, and not a second before or after.
I believe the Holy Spirit confronts
us with little choices like these, which to the world can sometimes seem
radical… silly… or just straight up crazy. But when did Jesus ever ask us to
live comfortably? When did he ever show us how to blend in and strictly
follow decrees and religion? Christ is the ultimate example of what the world
calls CRAZY. His entire ministry constantly threw a curveball to what society
thought was right living. Why would he expect anything less that that from us?!
Therefore, I choose to be:
unconformed.
unsatisfied.
uncomfortable.
Unconformed to the world's standard of living,
unsatisfied with my faith and always pursuing more, and uncomfortable in such a
way that the only way I can make it through is to fully depend on God. Because
anything less than that is not my all. And Christ CLEARLY asks for EVERY part
of me.
WAKE UP WORLD:
Let's look at some definitions:
Dream
/drēm/
1. A state of mind in which someone is or seems
to be unaware of their immediate surroundings
2. An unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy
Awake
/əˈwāk/
1. Regain consciousness; become aware of
2. Make or become active again
When we "dream" we are
reaching for something we don't have, and often times it's something we don't
really need. Our minds become consumed in the MORE and we become unaware
of our immediate surroundings. When we live "awake" we become
aware of what we already have, and if we are an American, then we most likely
already have more than enough.
Watching TV the other day I saw a commercial that I
thought epitomized The American Dream:
While soaking it in I thought about how terribly sad this concept was. Never being satisfied. Never catching a break. Never looking at what we have, always looking at what might be. Never stop improving.
While soaking it in I thought about how terribly sad this concept was. Never being satisfied. Never catching a break. Never looking at what we have, always looking at what might be. Never stop improving.
We need to get out of this ritual and more
importantly, get out of the mindset that somehow we earned our overwhelmingly
ridiculous wealth. "Work hard, get rich" works in America, but there are plenty
of people in developing countries that work extremely hard, in extremely
difficult environments just to SURVIVE. I'm not saying that there isn't poverty
in North America, but even our definition of "poverty" in America is
better off than most developing countries.
United States poverty is declared if a family's
total income is less than the standard income for the amount of people in that
family.
For example:
In 2012, the most recent year for
which data are available, the poverty threshold for a family of four was
$23,492/year. The official national poverty rate was 15%. There were
46.5 million people in poverty. Taking the average income of the United States
(between our wealthiest and our poorest) the American yearly income
average is an astounding $50,000 a year or $137 a day. Real quick lets compare
that to humanity:
•
Almost half the world — over three
billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day
•
1.6 billion people — a quarter of
humanity — live without electricity
For the 1.9 billion children from the
developing world, there are:
•
640 million without adequate shelter
(1 in 3)
•
400 million with no access to safe
water (1 in 5)
•
270 million with no access to health
services (1 in 7)
Poverty Map: what the world would look like if a country's size were determined by its severity of poverty per capita ratio-- North America becomes a sliver, Australia is almost nonexistent and India triples in size.
Poverty is complicated and I admit that I am incredibly naive, but these statistics are still incredibly humbling. My intention of posting these facts are not to throw around guilt or even discredit the hard work my family and ancestors before me put into providing opportunities for our generation. My intention is for it to drive us to step back and ask ourselves how we can EVER compare our riches to those who have more WITHOUT comparing downward as well! We are so quick to look around enviously at the MORE and not downward at what we ALREADY have and what we take for granted, like water, shelter, health services.
So how do we wake up?
Lets look at what God has to say.
Hebrews 12
Therefore, since we have so great a
cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and
the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race
that is set before us, fixing out eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of
faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the
shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Matthew 6
Do not store up for yourselves
treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in
and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths
and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and
steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Acts 4
All the believers were one in heart
and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they
shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to
testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God's grace was so
powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among
them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought
the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was
distributed to anyone who had need.
James 1
Religion that God our Father
accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in
their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Matthew 19
And behold, a man came up to him,
saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal
life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good?
There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the
commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You
shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall
not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall
love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man
said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus
said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and
give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow
me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had
great possessions.
Jesus doesn't call us to give him portions of his
life, He commands us to go all in, to give away what separates us from
him. To focus on Him.
It's when I start thinking that I can create my own
happiness that I run the risk of failure. For everyone and everything of this
world will let me down. The ONLY thing in this life that is fail-safe is our
God, who intimately knows us and the desires of our hearts. If I choose to
let Him work in my life, I know I will not be let down. If I let Him, He will take
me on adventures I can only imagine. If I Die To Self, I create room for Christ
to move. There is nothing as important as serving my God and humbling
myself to let him receive all the glory.
WE WAKE UP:
-by realizing our need for Christ
-by realizing the life he wants for us to live
-by praying dangerously
-by obediently following through with what the
Holy Spirit asks of us
It is a terrifyingly beautiful gift,
but I choose life, and life abundantly.
but I choose life, and life abundantly.
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